I’ve waited my whole life for this season! How do I say goodbye?

As a child, we all spent time dreaming of what our future would be! There is a time I’m sure most of us can say we KNEW what we wanted to “be” in life! For me, this was pretty much the same from elementary school all the way up to graduating high school! I wanted to get married & raise my littles!! 

Fast forward to my twenty seven year old self, mommy to a six year old & two year old! These past six, almost seven years have been the absolute BEST of my life! Yet, here I sit, filling out my babies preschool enrollment form! I will have an EMPTY house two mornings a week! Of course it will be nice some days to be able to sip my coffee hot! Or finish work before everyone else is asleep! But in the big picture…. How do I say goodbye?

I have had a baby in my arms or hanging on my leg every day for the past SEVEN years! These are MY years! The years that make me feel all the feels! There were SO many first! Moments that significantly shaped me as not only a mom, but as Nikki! How do I say goodbye?

If I’m being completely honest I didn’t love being pregnant like some! It’s not that I didn’t like it, but I didn’t have easy “normal” pregnancies, so I’m sure that had a lot to do with it! However, the moment I fist felt mads kick…. One of  those moments I don’t think I’ll ever forget! Nesting was no unusual activity for me, pregnant or not I’m always rearranging or updating something in the house, but I really enjoyed the planning and purchasing phase for both my kids!! The anticipation as you fold the little onesie you just bought! Or how I Day dreamed about who’d you be as I rocked in the rocking chair daddy just built for tour nursery! How do I say goodbye?

I decided that nursing was something that I was going to fight for with my second! My first was a premeie and we struggled! When Grey was born I had decided I was going to not give up this time! And I’m SO thankful I didn’t!! What an experience! The bond is just that a bond! Something that only he and I shared! It was seriously one of the most amazing experiences and I struggled  when Grey no longer wanted to nurse! How could I say goodbye?

This season of my life has been beautiful! I am thankful that this season is a slow changing one! It will be a slow adjustment for both grey & I! The next two years we will slowly prepare ourselves for the day he goes off to school full time! I know how fast this next season is about to go as I’ve experienced this all before!! & I think that I was in so aware this time!! I know how I will feel, how it will leave me a little empty, but yet excited!! This mommy thing is oh so bittersweet!! 

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